What Do You Say?

We all know someone whose life has been hard. Not just the normal "hard", but really, truly HARD. I got a message from one such friend, and I just didn't know what to say. She's been estranged from her only child for a long time - 15+ years long. We've talked about this, and she really doesn't understand what had happened to cause this separation. In her mind, the day this child turned 18, he decided that Mom no longer needed to be a part of his life. Not, "I'm an adult now, and I don't need you anymore." But rather, "I can't wait to get away from you and stay away forever". And that is how he's lived his life since. I've got four children, and to hear this from any one of them would be devastating. But to have your only child say it? I can't imagine the hurt.

What could I say to comfort her? To encourage her? Not much. I haven't been through any experience even close to that, so even though I can offer her sympathy and prayers for reconciliation, there's not much else I can do. I listen to her when she needs to talk, but nothing I might say could help heal this wound. There's no action I can take on her behalf that would alter things in the slightest way. I don't know her son. I have never met him. I probably never will meet him. Unless they are somehow able to get together and sort things out.

Unless. There's a lot of meaning in that six-letter word.

In our conversations since she first told me about this rift, the comment has been made that she's not able to contact him for birthdays or Christmas, that he doesn't send her a card to wish her a happy Mother's Day. And of course, he's at an age now where he may have married and had a child of his own. Her grandchild. And she might never know. What do you say to someone who carries a burden like this? I am clueless. I have three grandchildren, and I've been blessed to enjoy their company, talk to them, hug them.

About that message she sent... She found out that her worst fears have been confirmed. She has a grandchild, and the family - HER family - conspired to keep this from her. They decided that she should never be told. Her mother, her sister, her son all decided that she didn't have a right, a need to know that she's a grandmother. What do you say? Again, I have no words of comfort or encouragement for her. I've never experienced this level of rejection. I can only offer a listening ear. And a prayer.

Now, I do not know the full circumstances of her situation. I don't know what disagreements have been ongoing. I don't know the other people involved. I have never met them, I have never spoken to them. I only have her side of the story. And it's certainly not my place to pass judgment on anyone, to lay blame. My only responsibility in this is to be there for my friend, and offer what little I can. Which isn't much, to be honest. But all the same, that's what I will do. I will listen. I will pray for her to be reconciled to her son, and be able to have contact with her grandchild.

And as you read this, don't do what we are prone to doing. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't blame. Don't judge. Don't make guesses about the why, or the what of things. Instead, think about the friends or relatives you know that may be in a similar situation, or any situation that seems hopeless. Be there to listen. And pray for them. Unless you have been there, it's best to not say anything rather than risk saying the wrong thing.

Turkey Bacon - Or Not?

This morning, I finally had my first meal to include this processed meat product. It actually wasn't bad. I won't say it was exactly like real bacon, but we're talking poultry here, not pork. If you are looking for an alternative to pork bacon, this will fit the bill. However, if you're trying to eat healthier, and removing pork bacon is part of your plan, there are a few things you need to know.

First, it is made to look like bacon. Sort of. It's made with less fat than pork bacon naturally comes with. That means when you've finished frying it, you won't have drippings in which to fry your eggs. You also won't have to worry about spattering grease while you cook.

Second, turkeys don't have belly fat like pigs do. On that note, you have to understand that bacon in the United States is not the same as bacon in all other countries. The U.S. uses pork belly for bacon. In Europe and Canada, they use the loin in the middle of the back, which is meatier and more like ham (think pork chop). Since turkeys don't have the same physiology, you can't possibly get the same cuts of meat from them.

So where does the meat for turkey bacon come from, and how can it possibly taste anything like "real" bacon? According to the ingredient list on a package of Jenni O's turkey bacon, the meat strips are made from "turkey, mechanically separated turkey". What happens is this: turkey meat is skinned, removed from the bones and processed with additives, including sugar, salt, three more forms of sodium, plus several vegetable oils and natural flavorings (maybe some form of Liquid Smoke?), then put into an extruder to form the strips.

Pork bacon is cured with salt, and natural flavorings are added to give that smokey flavor. Some flavors, like maple, will have sugar added. That's it. No other additives.

Back to the question of whether turkey bacon is healthier than pork bacon - not really. All that added sodium is no good. And the oils added to make the "fat" strips are not likely to be unsaturated fats. The benefits are these: there are fewer calories per slice, and those who are forbidden to eat pork due to religious constraints can enjoy this alternative.

A Trial Run at Blogging

It seems everyone has a blog these days. I've actually had mine for several years, but just let it sit somewhere in the darker recesses of the internet. Why? Well, I wasn't actually sure what to do with it. But now I've decided. My head is often full of random thoughts and ideas, so where better to put them than out where the whole wide world can read about it?

I've been to quite a number of bloggers' sites, and the one thing that really stands out is the number of people who create false accounts just so they can troll and stir up friction amongst others who leave comments. For this reason, I may disable the comments for a particular post altogether. I've got a habit (bad or good, who cares?) of expressing myself. Sometimes I do it poorly, and other times I do it so well that it tends to inflame those who disagree with me. Guess what? I DON'T CARE if you think differently. I do, however, care if you leave rude, ugly, hurtful, or disparaging remarks on my page. Do that, and expect your comment and any replies to it to be deleted as soon as I read them. I can do this because it's MY BLOG. Play nice, or go home.

What will I post about? Well, all my kids are grown now, so it's not going to be a "mom blog". I might still brag on them, or bore you with exploits of my grands, though. I don't work outside the home, so all my own activities are related to the wonders of being a homemaker/housewife. (Get ready, because I live in a rural area, and grow my own food!) But I'm more than that. Much more.

My political and religious views are -get this- MINE. If I express them here, that's my choice. But don't expect me to expound on the wonders of the government's stupidity, or explain why God didn't make us all rich.

Will I monetize my blog? Don't know. I'm not doing this for the money, but who can say no to a few extra pennies here and there?

In the end, I hope you enjoy reading my posts, and maybe we can all learn something useful from one another.